Being strong and unconventional sometimes means you can’t afford to be gentle
I have not yet conducted a detailed demographic analysis of my blog readers, so I may lose some of you by introducing Scarlett O’Hara—the protagonist of Margaret Mitchell’s bestselling 1939 novel “Gone with the Wind.” This novel takes place during the American Civil War and Reconstruction era in the South, primarily in Georgia. Scarlett is widely desired by men and envied by women for her beauty. Though popular and successful, she is quietly resented for her unconventional, selfish, and polarizing behavior. Most readers of the novel and fans of the 1939 film starring Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable share these mixed feelings toward her. She is often labeled an anti-hero, but I believe this mischaracterizes her. Scarlett is not an anti-hero but a genuine hero, not despite her actions but because of them.
Who is Scarlett?
Scarlett O’Hara is a young Southern belle living during the Civil War who is in love with Ashley Wilkes, who chooses to marry the gentle and sweet Melanie Hamilton instead. While Melanie is kind, empathetic, and loyal, Scarlett knows how to manipulate, lie, and scheme. Melanie genuinely loves Scarlett, while Scarlett secretly resents Melanie and continues to pursue Ashley throughout most of the story. When Ashley rejects her, Scarlett’s wounded pride leads her to hastily marry Charles Hamilton, who soon dies in the war. She later marries her sister’s fiancé, Frank Kennedy, to save her family plantation, Tara. Frank is eventually killed due to Scarlett’s risky business ventures. Finally, she marries Rhett Butler, a wealthy, charismatic man who truly loves her—a fact she realizes only when it’s too late.
In Defense of Scarlett O’Hara
These actions don’t paint Scarlett in a favorable light. However, I’ll reframe the narrative to show that while other characters embody the conventional virtues of their time, Scarlett represents a modern heroine ahead of her era.
I. Her Love for a Married Man
Yes, Scarlett remains obsessed with Ashley and even kisses him while he’s married. What readers often overlook is that Ashley also loves Scarlett while married to Melanie. He not only reciprocates but initiates romantic encounters, then retreats behind his supposed moral code. This reveals him as weak and hypocritical, unwilling to fully commit to either woman. [Watching the movie, I also must say I had empathy for Scarlett because Leslie Howard- the actor playing Ashley- was one beautiful and charming man]. Scarlett rejects many social conventions of 19th-century Southern society. She chafes against restrictive clothing, refuses to follow social etiquette that diminishes women, and pursues business opportunities despite societal disapproval. Importantly, she accepts Ashley’s decision to stay with Melanie and helps Melanie in times of need despite her jealousy, showing she can rise above her envy when necessary.
The Ashley Wilkes situation, in my view, highlights a persistent sexist double standard in how we judge infidelity. When a single woman and a married man engage in an inappropriate relationship, society disproportionately blames the woman while excusing or downplaying the man’s responsibility. This unbalanced judgment ignores several crucial facts: often it’s the married man actively pursuing both women simultaneously, frequently the woman is significantly younger and less experienced, and most importantly, it was the man who made formal vows of fidelity to his wife, not the single woman. In “Gone with the Wind,” Ashley knowingly encourages Scarlett’s affections while remaining married to Melanie. Yet readers predominantly condemn Scarlett’s pursuit while viewing Ashley more sympathetically. I don’t consider Ashley a villain per se, but I find it even more unreasonable to label Scarlett as morally corrupt for responding to his mixed signals and failing to respect a marital boundary that he himself repeatedly blurs. This imbalanced moral accounting reflects our culture’s tendency to hold women to higher standards of sexual propriety while granting men greater latitude for similar behaviors.
II. Her Marriages of Convenience
Scarlett’s motivations for marriage weren’t always romantic, but we must acknowledge that through these marriages, she saved her family’s plantation and provided for her family members, including Ashley and Melanie. Her key strength is that her moral compromises are matched by extraordinary willpower, resilience, and mental fortitude. She repeatedly uses her strength to help others without seeking recognition. Despite her reputation, Scarlett doesn’t think only of herself. She deeply loved her parents, and her father’s death devastated her. As the eldest sister, she shouldered tremendous responsibility after the South’s defeat. Notably, Scarlett doesn’t exhibit the racism prevalent in her society. She focuses on practical needs rather than ideology.
III. Her Business Ventures and Their Consequences
Yes, Scarlett’s determination contributed to her second husband’s death. However, the context is crucial to understanding this situation. After the Civil War devastated the South, Scarlett’s beloved plantation Tara, was in ruins. With her father mentally broken after her mother’s death, taxes due, and starvation threatening, Scarlett married Frank Kennedy, her sister’s fiancé, purely to obtain money to save Tara. Not content with just securing Tara, Scarlett took the unprecedented step for a woman of her time and class to start her own business. She purchased a lumber mill and began managing it herself, driving through dangerous areas of Atlanta alone to oversee operations. This behavior scandalized proper Atlanta society, including her husband Frank. The specific incident that led to Frank’s death occurred when Scarlett was attacked while driving through a rough area called Shantytown. Frank and other men, including Ashley Wilkes, joined a Ku Klux Klan raid to avenge her honor. During this raid, Frank was killed. While Scarlett’s unconventional business activities put her in harm’s way, it was ultimately Frank’s decision to participate in KKK violence—a moral failing reflective of the racist Southern society—that directly caused his death. Scarlett’s ambition to provide for her family through business stands in stark contrast to the destructive vigilantism embraced by the men around her, including her husband.
IV. Her Manipulative Tendencies
Scarlett is indeed manipulative, but this emerges from her limited options as a woman in the 19th century. While gentle characters like Melanie can afford to be kind because they conform to societal expectations, women like Scarlett must use whatever tools they have to survive. The more protected a woman is, the more gentle her behavior can be. Women without such protection, like Scarlett after the war, must develop harder edges.
In “Gone with the Wind,” we see this contrast clearly. Melanie, protected by society’s approval and Ashley’s name, can maintain her gentle nature. Scarlett, facing starvation and ruin, must become calculating to save herself and those dependent on her. Like Scarlett, Rhett Butler rejects social conventions and is considered morally questionable by proper society. He made his fortune through blockade running during the war and speculation—activities viewed as profiteering off Southern suffering. Society condemned him, yet his pragmatism allowed him to thrive while the old Southern aristocracy collapsed. Rhett recognizes in Scarlett a kindred spirit—someone who sees through social hypocrisy and has the courage to act in her own interests. Their relationship is tempestuous precisely because they are so similar. Both use manipulation and deception when necessary, both value survival over honor, and both possess remarkable resilience.
What makes their relationship tragic is that while Rhett sees Scarlett clearly from the beginning, she remains blinded by her obsession with Ashley until it’s too late. By the time Scarlett realizes she truly loves Rhett, his patience has been exhausted by years of rejection. Their relationship demonstrates that even the strongest personalities can falter when pride and timing work against them.
V. Her Motherhood
This is perhaps Scarlett’s strongest criticism. She neglected her first child with Charles Hamilton, whom she married out of spite, and her daughter from her marriage with Frank Kennedy. However, she became a better mother to Bonnie, her daughter with Rhett, whom she genuinely loved. This evolution suggests that forcing women into unwanted maternal roles can be harmful to both mother and child.
With Bonnie, we finally see Scarlett’s capacity for maternal devotion. This transformation occurs partly because she genuinely loves Rhett (though she hasn’t admitted it to herself) and partly because she isn’t forced to be the sole provider for this child. Rhett dotes on Bonnie and handles much of her care, allowing Scarlett to enjoy motherhood without it consuming her identity or independence. Tragically, Bonnie’s death in a riding accident shatters both parents and delivers the final blow to their already strained marriage. This shows that Scarlett was capable of maternal love, but circumstances and her own immaturity prevented her from developing it earlier. This aspect of Scarlett’s character highlights the importance of not forcing women into maternal roles they’re not ready for or suited to—an insight remarkably progressive for a novel written in the 1930s.
Common rebuttal points:
- Scarlett always had a manipulative nature, even in times of peace.
That is true. She definitely always had a tendency to steal other women’s admirers and twist men around her finger. That might make her self-centred but not evil. We may not forget that, as a beautiful woman, Scarlett was always used to being heard and respected by men when they were in love with her. The other women in her society also hated her, always by default and simply for their jealousy, which does not create any great incentive for Scarlett to be considerate of their needs. The only female who truly cared for her was Melanie, and the only male was Rhett. At the end of the novel, Scarlett recognizes and reciprocates their love and finally sees who her true friends are. It is a bit too late.
- Scarlett married Charles Hamilton for revenge and not survival
About 90% of Scarlett’s acts were driven by survival and the need to provide for family members and secure Tara, her father’s legacy. But she also has acts that are just immature, selfish, and irresponsible. She does not show any true remorse. That might be something she misses. But not every hero can be an ideal. We must remember the position Scarlett is in. She is a very young, teeny girl in 19th-century southern America. Sure, she is white and was born wealthier than some others. But when she made immature decisions, it was because she was very young, and she lived in a society that punished her for having her thoughts, and men who constantly objectified her. And she was in love with a man who did not know what he wanted.
Conclusion
Scarlett O’Hara represents a complex, flawed hero whose strength allowed her family to survive catastrophic circumstances. Her story reminds us that conventional morality may not serve women in times of crisis, and that sometimes the “selfish” choice is necessary for survival. While not perfect, Scarlett’s determination, resilience, and adaptability make her a compelling protagonist whose heroism lies in her refusal to surrender to circumstances that would have crushed gentler souls.
